Before we knew his name, Baby M’s due date was January 29th and we watched it come & go. Which required us to then have weekly ultrasounds & NSTs to keep an eye on him. My midwives allowed me to go 2 weeks past my due date, so an induction date was set for Monday, February 11th. I introduced his arrival here.
The Friday before was our last doctor’s appointment to check on him, we caught him sucking his thumb on the ultrasound! All signs kept pointing toward him looking really healthy, just a little too cozy I guess 😉 I shared our last two weekends leading up to induction here & here. But that last Friday my midwife did a cervical check to find I was very nearly 3cm & 80% effaced, so she stripped my membranes and I did basically every single thing in the book to try to kick-start labor on my own (eating pineapple, dates, red raspberry leaf tea, squats, walking).
Alas we awoke Monday February 11th still without a baby. I arrived for my induction at 9am, by 11a my midwife had started me on a dose of Cytotec to continue ripening my cervix. My parents soon arrived and we just hung out to see what was going to happen. Less than 2 hours later I had progressed to 4cm and 90% effaced so my midwife suggested to start in on Pitocin. We ordered lunch and then walked around the hospital for a short while before starting on the Pitocin, since knowing that after that I would not be able to eat or really leave my room again due to the meds & monitoring. We started Pitocin around 2:30p and within an hour I was starting to feel the contractions start so I sat on the yoga ball and we watched some TV to try to distract me.
By 5p I was really feeling the contractions and found myself having to work through them. My midwife had taught me a couple techniques and I found my comfort in laying on my side, holding my husband’s hand while he counted breathing for me as each contraction built up and came back down. It was during this time that I really started to focus and get in the zone. I had read a lot of positive birth stories & affirmations and had even printed some off to take to the hospital – I set my phone background to a print that said “This May Be Hard But I Can Do It” (I still have that background set as a reminder that recovery can be hard too but I will get through it).
My family did an excellent job of building me up as well as trying to continue conversation with me to distract me! Focusing on empowering myself, repeating mantras in my head like, “I am no afraid, my body was made to do this”, “I am capable & strong”, or “I am prepared for whatever birth my body & baby need” were the most helpful to me. I had complete faith & trust that our baby would be born in the exact way he should! I could not recommend this method enough for women who are pregnant, if you have questions about resources that I found most useful feel free to comment or email and I’ll share more about what worked best for me. I truly believe though that labor & delivery is just as much if not more a mental obstacle as it is physical.
Back to labor now though…I think by 7p my midwife had decided I was in active labor which meant I got to move from the smaller room that I was originally put in upon check in to the larger delivery room. This was reassuring because it meant we were even closer to meeting our baby!! I walked the hall a short way to the new room and worked through 2 contractions on the way. I then went to the bathroom in the new room and worked through a contraction on my own while in there – this one was hard, I think it was a larger contraction than usual and I was by myself. When I got back to the bed that I would finish out my labor & deliver our baby boy in, my nerves got a little bit of the best of me. I told my midwife that I was just so unsure about when/how I would know if I should ask for pain management meds. I know she sensed my nervousness and she did so well getting eye level with me to explain the options, timing, and to just generally reassure me that I was doing an awesome job and no matter what decision I made it would be the right one, telling me to trust myself as I already had been all along. It was shortly after that that I asked for IV pain meds. I felt hesitation on pain management because I really like to plan and not being able to do so was hard for me, I knew that active labor could still be hours and I wasn’t looking to make myself suffer but at the same time if it wasn’t going to be long then I was confident that I could power through.
Shortly after receiving the IV pain medication I felt the intense pressure to push and I just kept saying over & over how much pressure I felt. My midwife checked me one more time and confirmed that I was I ready to start pushing! My sister had actually left to check on the beags for us and she barely made it to our house before my family was telling her to get back to the hospital lol! My midwife taught me another breathing technique to try along with how to bear down and then push through the contractions while she counted it out. My mom was on my left holding my leg while my husband was on my right, until my sister returned and she took over holding my leg while Ron held my hand and coached me.
A lot of this is still a blur and each time I replay the events more comes back to me. It all seemingly went by SO QUICKLY for me too! I pushed for probably an hour and it was the hardest, most satisfying thing I’ve ever done. I would tell my team when I felt the contraction coming so that they could brace to support me and then I’d push through the contraction with my mom & sister holding my legs, Ron coaching me with counting and direction from my midwife too. I did keep my eyes closed almost the entire time because I felt it was what really allowed me to again focus on those mantras and make the most of my pushing. It did start to get difficult for me to give my team enough warning before I felt the urge to push, like my contractions weren’t in my abdomen as much anymore as there was just pressure to push – this was when I was really glad to have not opted for the epidural because I think it would have been so hard for me to have even less feeling to know what to do. It honestly was truly the best pain I’ve ever felt, hard to describe, but I guess kind of like when you’re working out on something really hard and it feels good to power through…
At one point my midwife had me flip to push a couple times on all fours. Baby’s head just kept going back in and wasn’t staying out like it should with each push, this position was enough to make him stay crowned and I even felt his head full of hair!! This point was when I started to feel a little defeated, I pushed what felt like SO many times and he just stayed put – essentially his hair was born 20 minutes before the rest of him. I remember getting emotional and saying that I was just trying so hard and I really wanted to push him out. We were literally SO CLOSE! Ultimately my midwife let me know that she thought I needed an episiotomy, so she performed that. And then 2 pushes later our baby came bursting out into the world!!! He even put his hands up upon exiting like ta-da here I am, finally!!!
His Dad cut the cord and he was placed on my chest, within a few minutes he even nursed! Again this was all just the absolute BEST feeling in the world! Did it hurt? Yes, but not in a feel like dying kind of way. It was hands down the top life experience I have ever had.
Later, my nurses & midwife (and family too!) all made several comments throughout our hospital stay about how incredible I did during labor, that they could tell I believed in my own power and I truly let my body take over – I don’t share this to brag, I simply share because I whole-heartedly believe it was because of how I prepared myself for the experience. I do not believe that women should be fearful, we quite literally were designed and built to grow & birth babies. Shortly after delivery I actually had some concerning complications, which I’ll share in a post later this week. This story deserves to shine on its own and hold its power, because this one belongs to our little Ronald. Celebrating two weeks with him today <3
Congratulations on your new baby boy! I love how you talk about how you mentally prepared for your birth – it’s truly an interesting thought that never crossed my mind (but I’m sure it will more once we are ready to have children) but you go through so much preparation on what physically happens and seemingly not enough for what mentally needs to happens. So so happy for you and your little family. He’s the cutest little baby! 🙂 aoe<3
Thank you Sara!!!! Certainly not enough women prepare mentally, because no one tells them too, but I think the mental prep helped me so much more and aided in my physical ability too! We think Ronald is pretty cute too 😉 aoe
Oh what a darling little boy! And how loved he is! What a wonderful medical and family team you had/have. Thank you for sharing your journey to bring him into the world! Wishing all the best for you as you go on this getting to know you journey. Rest when you can… hope the dogs are doing ok with their brother.
Thanks so much Laurie! Ronald has been a great baby, allowing us to sneak in more rest than I would’ve thought 😊 H & H are tired too but otherwise quite content!
You really did great! It is hard for me to read birth stories because of how difficult and disappointing my own births were. But I am definitely happy for you that the delivery went great for you and you did it!!
Thanks Dara! I certainly have my own disappointments with birth, wish I wouldn’t have needed an induction, but focusing on the positives and that I brought life into this world 😊 You’ve got 3 beautiful children yourself!!
This was such an awesome read- the power of positivity fueled you through labor and you have the most precious baby boy! I would not have been able to handle myself as gracefully as you did! Side note: I love how you wore some cute earrings during your labor!!
Thank you Shannon! And yes, I wore cute earrings lol, helped me feel more like myself 😄
Congratulations! I just found your blog, i’m a fellow Michigander! I had a baby girl in August and I totally agree with you about birth (and for me pregnancy as well) being such a mental battle. A good friend of mine gave me the advice to accept the pain and to remind yourself that the pain is good, productive, and is helping to bring your baby to you. This really helped me! I remember feeling the pain and pushing right into it. Congrats again, look forward to following along!
Hi there Andrea, glad you found me! Congrats on your new baby too 🙂 So great that you got such good advice from your friend, something I don’t think is shared enough!
I am sitting here in tears Rechelle- congratulations and awesome job- you were meant for this!! XOXO Welcome Beautiful Baby!
Awe, thanks Holly! That means a lot 🥰