One of the most important things we did while awaiting the arrival of Ronald was preparing our marriage for the addition of a baby. Ron and I have always highly valued our relationship & our marriage. We understand the importance of communication and practice it daily. We had several conversations throughout pregnancy that set us up to be prepared for the upcoming changes. Everyone tells you all the products you’re going to need for a baby when in reality all you really truly need are the essentials to keep that baby alive. I think preparing your relationship is a critical piece to providing the best care you can, even just a couple months in these are things that have worked so well for us.
During pregnancy we talked openly, voicing that our lives were going to change, making that announcement to ourselves and accepting it. We essentially were mentally preparing ourselves for change so that when it did happen it wouldn’t come as a shock.
We discussed the importance of keeping up with open communication. We knew there would be overwhelming moments and to let each other know when we feel overwhelmed. Sometimes one of us will be trying to calm Ronald down and it can just get to be too much, we make sure to ask for help. This one has been trickier than I imagined. I found that I needed to step back sometimes and not always come to the rescue whenever Ronald was fussing with Ron because I didn’t want to send the message to my husband that I didn’t think he was capable of handling the situation.
We’ve found it incredibly important to tell each other or ask one another how we’re feeling and how we’re doing. And then actually LISTENING. Ron is so good at this, I’m practicing and working on getting better at it too. Ron always does such a good job of validating my feelings too, letting me know that it is OK and perfectly acceptable to feel whatever it is that I am feeling. We’ve all been there, having a thought about our baby that makes us feel bad for even thinking it, but its okay because we’re not alone in that and it doesn’t make us bad parents. Telling my husband about those feelings helps me to feel better about it.
Lastly, don’t underestimate the power of a hug! Usually when we can sense the other might be struggling we’ll stop for a minute just to hug. This is especially helpful when we don’t have the time right then to have a discussion. It shows the other that we see them and we are right there with them. And often times it is enough to help us power through and overcome.
This parenting gig is for life and we’re well aware that there will be more challenging times ahead. However, we also know that it all started with just the two of us and if our relationship isn’t strong then we’re not going to be strong parents, so it is important to invest in ourselves and one another. We’re laying the foundation & practices now for how we’ll continue to parent in the future!
It is lovely that you were and are so intentional about this!
Thanks Dara! A baby can really change the dynamics of a relationship, glad we were prepared for it š
Oh my gosh Rechelle- what a beautiful post! You nailed it on the head and always impress me with your maturity and wisdom at such a young age- you are rocking this Mama! XO
Thank you Holly! Our marriage is one of the things I am most proud of. Always trying to be proactive š
Wonderful and Great post. I admire and applaud how you and Ron have established a solid foundation for your life together! Itās hard work, and marriage and family are changing āorganismsā. Go girl!